At one point in my life I went everywhere with a messenger bag that had room for a camera, and a notebook. While I never thought I was amazing at either, I had a passion for both and eagerness to practice each craft, and continue growing and improving. Unfortunately, at some point one of the writing slowly disappeared, and I picked up my camera less and less. How did it happen? I think I started losing confidence in my writing, and found myself saying more and more “what’s the point?” As for the photography, part of it is that I think I simply burned myself out on it. I worked at a camera store for about 4 years in the first half of the 2010s. I got bogged down on having the latest and greatest gear, always chasing that next gadget that was going to improve my work. Also, continually seeing people with less knowledge, that I had to teach how to use their gear and the principles of photography,continue to get work and build their small businesses started building some resentment. When I got out of that job, I went from shooting for pleasure on a regular basis to just not shooting at all. That phrase of self doubt, “what’s the point”, migrated from my thoughts about writing and infected how I thought about photography.
The truth is, I really miss both of those things. Photography has been a part of my life since I was a kid. I have always been somewhat known as the family photographer (one of my proudest photographic moments was wrangling over 100 relatives at a family reunion for one group photo with limited head and face swaps in photoshop). When I was too old to get toys for Christmas, I got cameras and Santa left rolls of film in my stocking. Yet, somehow this passion slowly started burning out. Even though I know that when I have an active creative project that I’m working on, I always feel like my mental health improves. The problem is, over the years I have tried to pick up my camera more and more, and back pedal when “what’s the point” pops back into my head. Social media platforms like Instagram at first I thought would help, until you get into worrying about likes and follows, and all that made up stuff that doesn’t really matter. It's also so easy to fall into the trap of constantly comparing your work to other people. One thing I would like to do with this is not worry about views, clicks, comments, and potential monetization. I want to do this for me, and if anyone else comes for the ride, so be it. Below is a photo I took back soon after I bought my first DSLR, and the first photo I ever sold a print of. I had such excitement about photography back then. To create an image that I was proud of, and have others be genuinely excited about it
So what’s the point of this blog? It’s my latest creative endeavor to attempt to recapture that excitement and passion for photography and writing. Are they going to be the greatest photographs ever? Are they going to present some new, groundbreaking photographic theory? No. But it will be an attempt to reflect on my photography, and ideas surrounding what I do and do not enjoy about the art form, and hopefully help to reignite a spark in my photographic journey.
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